It could be anyone of us. But the trajic loss of a fine young man who is my nephew (late youngest brother's youngest son) makes me look back and try to understand more - is it a co-incidence, or as the Muslims would say ,its takdir (fate). A wandering mind sometimes could even speculate on whether it could be bad feng shui, a believe common among the Chinese when bad luck or misfortune happens. (Picture taken on during Chinese New Year, 2 months before my father passed away)
To those younger members of the family, let's go back to my mother's generation.We all seem to know more about our maternal side, purely because there are no blood brothers and sisters of our father living in Malaysia. All that we knew was that they were poor and living in harsh conditions in China. And all that they looked forward was financial support from my father who was very filial.
The story begins. My mother, ( The picture taken one week before her passing away taken during nomination day when my nephew Ong teng Boon stood for elections ),better known as "Ah Tet or Sa Chee" came from a big Choe family-comprising 4 males and 6 females.My grandfather was a rich and successful tin miner but misfortune struck and he became poor overnight like all tin miners during his time when tin slumped. Fortunately the 2nd and 3rd sons found employment. Not only was he finacially down my grandmother died and that was the moment when my mother, a young girl of 16/17 had to leave school and assume the role of mother for the family. She was the 3rd. eldest girl and had to look after the welfare of all - the older ones and the younger ones. What a herculean job!!
Now let's get to know my mother's siblings. The eldest boy/brother disappeared into the jungle and never returned-presumed dead. The eldest girl got married and later died. The eldest girl as she grew older became mentally handicapped while the 2nd girl was married but died later. Hence, Ah Tet had to hold the family. An incident occured when the 5th.girl was to be given away for adoption.My mother was dead against it and refused to let her younger sister go as she wanted the family to be together. My 5th. aunty who is now in her 80s since then was ever grateful. Fortunately my 2nd. uncle, an "ang moh sai" because of vast relationships with orang putihs became a very sucessful and rich businessman supported all the unmarried siblings and lived under a single roof. But trajedy struck when he lost his wife (my aunty)when she gave birth to the youngest child (son). This generation is now left with 3 iron ladies, Ah Siew (no.4), Ah Koid (No. 5) and Ah Moy (No. 6-youngest).
Here comes the next generation of Choes and Ongs-brothers and cousins. I lost 2 Choe cousins who were at their prime-one was an up coming businessman and the other a very vociferous unionist/politician. Both were the eldest sons from the families of 2nd and 3rd uncle. From the Ong's side we lost our youngest brother-a promising law professor. Oh yes let's not forget my cute sister younger to me, Poh Choo, who passed away as a young child maybe 2 years old.
Time flies and our generation of cousins - Ongs and Choes have now gone their own ways with families. Many of us have gone past 55 !! Hardly do we meet -Where have all the flowers gone !!
To kick start our next generation of 2nd. of cousins, the Choe side saw the first trajedy when the youngest son - Derek lost his eldest child. The Ong family came in 2nd trajedy - the loss of King. SAD!!!
The story ends with the head of Choe family, my grandfather with whom I was close. Choe See Peng (translated into Hokkien - make into 4 parts, became the butt of jokes on my late mother), lived a life of contentment never misses his bottle of liquor- be it beer, stout or brandy, lived to a ripe old age. As the saying goes some one must inherit some of his genes. I suppose he and I have something in common - he was a miner and I a planter, he had his ups and downs and I too have mine. I still have my bottle!! Ripe old age ?????? Takdir!!!!!!!
May our departed loved ones rest in peace!
So is it also a co-incidence that I write this during the month of the Hungry Ghost?????
Happy reading, don't shed a tear. Life goes on. Bye.
